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ART + DESIGN

JWJ STUDIO. BOI, ID.

JWJ STUDIO

ART + DESIGN

JWJ STUDIO.

ART + DESIGN

JWJ STUDIO.

Magenta. Yellow. Somewhere in between.
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Mixed, Acrylic, Ink, Charcoal, Spray Paint
Unstretched Canvas
None
58 x 58 x 0.1 inches

This painting ran a course of about two years to complete. When I started it there was no end goal, it’s something that manifested over the years. So there are layers under what’s on the surface. Layers like past lives, memories, that punctuate the surface like bad scars. There’s even a backside to it, like one’s insides. To cover everything that went through my mind while working on this would be to write a novella of those two years of my life, perhaps like a teenage diary or blogger’s wet blanket.

Being a person that also responds to color very intensely, I quickly adopted the new vocabulary. For a long portion of this piece I was in the grips of an extremely dysfunctional relationship and put myself into magenta quite a bit. I couldn’t stop myself, I couldn’t just hold onto blue, I was too yellow at the thought of life without this person. I had placed him on a pedestal so high that I only left myself room to grovel at his feet for crumps of attention or respect. I didn’t know how to respect myself enough to realize I was the one with all the power. I was the one putting myself through hell because it’s what had become normal in my life. If I wasn’t going through hell, then it wasn’t love.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to rant on like that, but now I realize I didn’t really want to revisit those thoughts. I didn’t want to have to explain what an empty person I was and how much hurt I ultimately did to myself. He certainly wasn’t the one ever trying to get me back, I kept inserting myself, I kept living a lie. To think of all the self-doubting I did, all the things I convinced myself of. I didn’t need anyone, I’m my own worst enemy.

Yellowstone Art Auction 52
Magenta. Yellow. Somewhere in between.
Magenta. Yellow. Somewhere in between. (2016—2018) Acrylic, spray paint, ink, and charcoal on canvas. Unvarnished. Photo: Justin W John